Turning the Page: Why I'm Leaving Massage Therapy
I never imagined I’d be writing this post—announcing my retirement (or at least a long juicy sabbatical) from my massage therapy career. But here I am, at a turning point born out of both necessity and honest reflection. Over the last few weeks, as I’ve shared this decision privately, I’ve had an unexpected number of people tell me, “I wish I could do that,” or express how they feel burnt out and trapped.
Their responses have reminded me that my situation isn’t unusual or unique. Many of us have quietly shouldered the weight of expectations and burnout for too long. We live in a world that prizes hustle above almost all else—a culture that has conditioned us to equate our worthiness with our productivity and to push through, no matter the cost to our emotional, physical, or energetic well-being.
The Cultural Cost of Caring
Women, especially, are conditioned from an early age to put others first, often at great personal sacrifice. Healthcare, and caring professions like massage therapy, amplify this dynamic. We’re taught to be nurturers, to be endlessly available, to give more and more of ourselves. The profession’s structures reinforce this.
But these assumptions—that it’s normal to ignore our own needs, that it’s acceptable to dismiss the energetic toll of giving—are worth questioning. Perhaps they never served us at all. Years ago when I started dismantling this, I remember a conversation with a friend who challenged my sense of self-importance in my work. I had feared that if I ever stepped away, my clients would suffer, or that I’d lose all that I had so carefully built. She told me the story of taking a full year off for medical treatment, worried she’d have to start again from scratch. Instead, when she returned, her clients booked right in, and in her absence, they had found other ways to meet their needs. It stung to realize that while my work matters, I am also not irreplaceable. There’s a humbling truth in holding both realities: my contribution is meaningful, and yet the world continues to turn without me. This realization is strangely freeing.
The True Cost of Energy Exchange
I’ve always been deeply committed to the idea that my own energetic and emotional state affects the quality of the care I provide. Whether or not there’s a line of scientific studies to back it up, I know that human touch transmits energy between the provider and client. Many of us have experienced it: an anxious or distracted mood in a practitioner that subtly alters our own emotional state. This sensation can be difficult to articulate, largely because we often haven't cultivated the sensitivity needed to fully recognize and describe it—our society tends to train this awareness out of us. But that does not make it any less real. When my mind-body-spirit complex is balanced and harmonized, I believe my work resonates more profoundly with those I treat. And I have received feedback from clients that this is indeed the case for them. But what if I’m depleted? What if stress, personal challenges, health issues, or burnout leave me energetically “empty”? Then it’s not just that I’m giving less; there’s a risk that I’m unintentionally siphoning energy from my clients. That’s the opposite of why I chose this path.
Navigating Professional and Personal Crisis
There was a time when personal crises and mental health struggles collided with my professional obligations. I was chronically exhausted and cyclically depressed, but “not sick enough” to justify taking a proper break. The reality of supporting myself in a high-cost city made stepping back feel impossible. As a single parent, I faced a hard truth: if I didn’t work, I didn’t get paid, and disability benefits wouldn’t come close to covering the bills. So I worked through the pain—both physical and emotional—hiding my struggles as best I could.
I recall a session with a long-time client who was attuned to energy work. On a day I was particularly upset, distracted by a struggle my teenager was going through, she could feel that I wasn’t fully present. She was kind but also firm in her boundaries: she needed me at my best, and if I couldn’t be in a healthy energetic space, perhaps we shouldn’t be working together that day. The conversation was honest and illuminating. She wasn’t blaming me for having this human experience—she was simply naming a truth I had been dancing around.
Capitalism Meets Healthcare: A Mismatch
The professional framework of the industry—yes let’s invite capitalism into the conversation— simply didn't accommodate the flexibility I needed. Cancellation policies, clinic commissions, and the looming threat of income instability stood as formidable barriers. Consider this: taking just a week off to recover from a cold could slash an RMT’s monthly income by a quarter. And realistically, who recovers from a cold in just a week? I often find myself unsuitable for close client interactions for at least 14 days due to lingering symptoms. Moreover, rushing back to work not only jeopardizes my health but also poses a risk to immunocompromised clients. This careful consideration for the well-being of others has, quite literally, come at a personal cost. Our evidence-based models, while valuable, leave little room for the legitimacy of energetic wellness. If there’s no code or claim for “energetic rest,” how can I ethically practice in a way that honours my deeper needs and still supports my clients in their journey? Over the years, despite my best attempts to organize my practice around my fluctuating energy levels and physical capabilities, I never found a sustainable solution.
A New Path Forward
Thus, the decision to close my RMT practice isn't merely about stepping back; it’s about moving forward toward a career structure that allows me to utilize all my gifts without feeling as though I am amputating my potential. Massage therapy, as much as it has been a part of my journey, feels like a garment I've outgrown. There are only so many alterations one can do before finally seeing that it just doesn’t fit. The profession, noble and essential in its own right, no longer fits the broader scope of what I aim to achieve. I am in a position where I have a supportive partner who is able to help us float as I re-orient my career path; this is a privilege that I acknowledge. I do not intend to cause harm by implying that this is available to all. What I do hope is that naming it will help to steer the future of our culture in a direction that doesn't require heteronormative patriarchal structures to thrive.
In coaching and energy work—fields outside the scope of RMT practice—I've found the freedom to seamlessly integrate intuition, strategy, and a profound understanding of the energetic exchanges that shape our well-being. This new arena allows me to fully utilize my capabilities, helping clients achieve incredible outcomes that go beyond the physical ailments I was once limited to addressing. Importantly, I continue to uphold the ethical and principled practices I honed during my massage therapy career. These practices are crucial in creating safe and empowering spaces, where clients can boldly explore and evolve into the next phase of their personal expression.
Redefining Professional Success
Well-being is essential, not a luxury, and serving in a capacity that respects this truth is non-negotiable for me. Let’s challenge the myth that success requires self-sacrifice. It’s time to reframe self-care as an act of professional responsibility as well as the path to creating a better world.
I am looking forward to sharing more about the exact processes I used to help me see what lay at the bottom of this desire to shift my focus and dismantle the unconscious beliefs that were causing me this misalignment. Spoiler alert: it did not lie in solely advancing my cognitive abilities to reason and justify myself; it was in the development of my intuitive abilities and learning to see and trust my own deep knowing. Evidence-based? Heck no. But absolutely transformative and clarifying.
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