Prioritize Pleasure To Overcome Stress

Have you ever smacked your shin on the coffee table and while yelling expletives reached down immediately (and automatically) to rub your leg briskly? 

You probably didn’t have to remember to reach down to do that, right? You just knew what to do to help yourself feel a bit better.

Well in this Love Letter, we’re gonna talk about how to bring consciousness to this autonomic response during times of stress to manage overwhelm.

I posted on Instagram the other day encouraging us to look for what’s working in the world right now within the context of the Russia-Ukraine conflict. Did you catch it? I wanted to expand upon this little thought in this week’s letter. 
 
My post read:
“Hey, there, sensitive soul. 
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by this wild world, please remember that there are powerful good forces at work, too. 
Looking for what IS working helps us stay connected to what’s possible. And we sure as heck need to feel that hope right now. 
Take care of yourself so you can affect change powerfully and from a full cup.”
 
One thing I love about living in our complex world is our human ability to experience many realities at once. This skill can help fortify our resilience in challenging times. 

Here’s what I mean. 

➡️ It’s possible to feel terrified about the state of our planet and ALSO appreciate the night sky in great detail as you lie on a blanket at the beach.

➡️  It’s possible to feel fear, confusion, and rage in response to the attack of the innocent civilians of Ukraine while ALSO ensuring that you gaze deeply into your lover’s eyes with connection and single-pointed focus before tucking into sleep.

➡️ It’s possible to be afraid about the future while ALSO sharing a belly laugh with your hairstylist about her recent break-up.

Feel into the above ☝️ contrasting examples and then inquire:
🌸 Do your physical sensations change when you’re in different emotional states?

🌸 What body sensations do you become aware of in each state? Is one easier to be with than the other?

🌸 Can you appreciate how noticing beauty/magic/gratitude/love makes the pain more bearable?
 
From a physical perspective, there’s this little function in the body where special structures in the spinal cord prioritize receiving signals of not-pain over signals of pain. (You can look up the Pain Gate Theory if you’re curious, it’s one of the first theories like this about pain perception. I’m sure there are other theories in practice now, too). 

What’s cool about this theory is that it shows us we’re literally designed to use pleasure as a tool to manage pain and discomfort.

And knowing this can help us get through chaotic times.

It’s not just about using a positive outlook to absent-mindedly cover up discomfort, it can be used as a tool to actually change the biology of the body.

Once the signal is in the brain, the perception of positive emotions like hope, love, and joy activate a specific neurochemical response that fortifies our resilience in times of stress and reduces the impacts of the stress chemicals. 

Did you get that?

Your emotions and thoughts influence your biology.

Cool, right?

This means you can learn to control how your body responds to stress – physical, emotional, or otherwise. 

Of course, these are huge concepts that I’m ultra-simplifying. What I hope you’ll take away from this is that although we cannot control the world around us, we can learn to develop skills that will help us respond to it in ways that don’t deplete us as quickly.

To sum up:
⭐ To function best in times of stress, find ways to feel good. This will help you develop the resilience to move through pain/stress with more ease thanks to the influx of happy hormones.

⭐ Avoid the tendency to overwhelm yourself with negative influences, i.e. doomscrolling or Googling what you’re worried about. Sometimes we get stuck in these loops because they’re familiar, not because they’re good for us. Balance your need to stay informed with your need to protect your inner peace.

⭐ Take action with things that align with the world you want to create.
Anxiety loves to keep us paralyzed in fear, so even if it’s just taking 3 deep breaths to disengage from its grip for 30 seconds, know that this counts as a positive action. If you can find ways to contribute outside yourself while experiencing calm in your body then please do that too. Is there a petition you can sign? A cause you can donate to? A rally you can attend?
 
Listen, it’s an unreasonable expectation to not be affected by the world’s current chaos and violence. If you’re not okay right now, it’s a sign that you have a heart. And that’s a good thing, we all know the world needs more of that.

Please prioritize your wellbeing so you can keep taking action from the center of that big juicy heart of yours. ❤️