Unpopular Truth: My Clients Are Not My Friends
I’m just going to say it.
My clients are not my friends.
Sure, our relationship is friendly and often feels close because of the intimacy of our work. I dive deep into some of the most personal aspects of your being, and yes, I absolutely love my clients. But our connection is different from friendship. It’s built on specific dynamics that make our work together powerful, transformative, and effective.
Here’s why:
1. Our Relationship Is a Transactional Alliance
You pay me. And while I put my heart and soul into our work together, the dynamic is one-sided. Unlike friendships, our relationship isn’t reciprocal. This isn’t about emotional exchange; it’s about creating a container for your growth.
2. There’s a Natural Power Differential
When you seek guidance, there’s an inherent dynamic at play. As your coach, I’m here to offer expertise, clarity, and an outside perspective that might be hard to access on your own. This doesn’t mean I’m above you; it simply means my role is to hold the light while you find your way through.
3. Boundaries Amplify Results
Boundaries are the backbone of this work. They allow me to keep the focus 100% on you. Every ounce of energy in our sessions is directed toward your transformation—not diluted by personal concerns, emotional exchanges, or blurred lines.
4. I Offer the Truth Your Friends Can’t
Let’s face it—friends have skin in the game. They’re entwined in your life, and they care about preserving their connection with you. I don’t have that limitation. I’ve got nothing to lose by telling you the unfiltered truth, and you’ve asked me to do just that.
Imagine a financial advisor who blurs the line by treating their clients as friends. They might hesitate to challenge spending habits or make hard recommendations for fear of rocking the relationship. That hesitation compromises the effectiveness of their work. Coaching isn’t so different—our connection thrives when I can speak freely and hold nothing back.
A Foundation of Trust and Ethics
My background as a massage therapist instilled in me the importance of maintaining professional boundaries in intimate work. This ethical foundation has been carried seamlessly into my coaching practice. Boundaries aren’t rules—they’re the sacred edges that create a container that allows our work together to be impactful.
That said, I do share aspects of my own journey with my clients. I believe in teaching from the seat of transformation, and I’m constantly growing and healing myself. However, what I share is always intentional and relevant to your experience. It’s about providing real-life examples that illuminate what growth can look like—not about shifting the focus away from you.
Trust me, you want your coach to have those boundaries. It ensures your outcomes are the top priority, and the container we’ve built remains fully focused on your growth—not clouded by my personal needs.
A Deeper Kind of Relationship
Yes, I will know you deeply—maybe deeper than anyone in your life right now. I’ll witness your challenges, celebrate your victories, and cheer for you as you step into the fullness of who you are. That’s a privilege I don’t take lightly.
But what we do together is bigger than friendship. It’s transformative, sacred, and unapologetically one-sided. I love you deeply and am fully invested in your success. But no, we’re not buddies.
This isn’t a rejection of connection—it’s an elevation of it. By keeping the lines clear and the boundaries firm, I can be exactly what you need: your coach, your truth-teller, and one of your biggest fans who will remind you of your brilliance when you lose sight of it.
With love and unwavering support,
D.